Women Leaders Share Success Secrets at CREW Event

By: Katie Thisdell

Carisa Wisniewski can pinpoint the moment when the culture shifted at Moss Adams LLP.

Wisniewski, the public accounting firm's office managing partner in San Diego, was meeting with her fellow partners -- five men and one woman -- about the appointment of a quiet, qualified and distinguished woman to an open leadership role.

When asked to take it on, the woman was gracious and said she would respond after checking her other commitments.

The men in the meeting heard something different, though. They interpreted the response to mean she lacked the confidence and was turning down the position, and they should instead appoint a man who was loud about his desires but perhaps not qualified.

"We had a fabulous partner discussion on, 'What just happened?' " Wisniewski said. "When my female partners and I heard she was going to look at her commitments, we heard respect. She wasn't going to enter into it if she couldn't fulfill the job. We heard that she was taking it seriously. What we heard was so different from what my male partners heard.

"If we hadn't debriefed that as leaders, we would have continued to make bad decisions," she added. "We've tried to set the culture that self-promotion actually could backfire. Generally the people that say, 'I'm the best at that,' are not self-aware."

Wisniewski was among four panelists at a leadership event hosted by the San Diego chapter of CREW, Commercial Real Estate Women.

While little of the conversation focused on real estate, about 30 women -- and two men -- heard stories of success and failures, mentoring and job fulfillment, from leaders in a range of markets during the intimate event, held at the Sanford Consortium on Wednesday. Anne Benge, president of Unisource Solutions, moderated the panel.

Panelists shared their thoughts on how to self-promote -- depending on the environment, as Wisniewski said -- and how their identities as extroverts vs. introverts affects their day-to-day roles.

Lauree Sahba, chief operating officer of the San Diego Regional Economic Development Corp., said her favorite phrase to say in meetings, to clarify different perspectives, is: "Can you say that another way? I don't think I understand." Sahba described how, before she turned 35, she believed she needed to make as much money as possible, work as hard as possible and move up the ladder.

"I did those things, and I was not unhappy," she said. "But at about 35, I was at a point in my personal and professional life where I realized I was getting a lot of pressure and accepting a lot of inputs from people" trying to define her success.

Shedding the idea that her career defined her as a person, Sahba, who says she has a great job with a great deal of success in a fantastic environment, has also furthered her personal passion for making a meaningful impact on the world.

Lindsey Back, chief financial officer at J Public Relations, shared how her career path has wound through the financial services industry, startups and working for herself.

"For me success was going to be when I was in a culture that really supported my life, and I was not watching the clock but knowing I had a voice in the company," Back said. "JPR looked to me as a leader, and I felt I was really making a difference. It's the first time I felt my life had balance."

But getting to that point wasn't simple. The bi-coastal, woman-run JPR had been one of her clients while she was in business for herself, and Back continued to do work for them while she worked at a Seattle startup.

During one phone call, she realized the opportunity to ask JPR for the role she wanted -- and her big ask paid off.

"When you finally ask for it and demand what you're worth, it's when it happens," said Back, who had long been accustomed to working in the male-oriented finance industry. "If you don't do that, you're going to keep waiting for them to recognize it."

To be an effective leader -- without being perceived as being bitchy -- Back said she models strong and stern positions, and is confident in her delivery.

"I know I'm a leader and that I need to show up," Back said, adding that a leader should model behaviors others strive to replicate.

Wisniewski and Sahba advised the use of sounding boards -- but not buddies at a bar, boyfriends and girlfriends, or even parents.

They said the role of mentors can be critical in charting a successful career path, as is choosing different people who model particular traits and asking them for help. "Seek them out, but you gotta ask," Wisniewski said.

Gonul Velicelebi, founder and CEO of Camino Pharma, has worked in biotech for 32 years, after choosing the industry over an academic career when she completed her post-doctorate training on the East Coast.

She's had few female mentors -- because 32 years ago, there were no women in biotech, she said.

"I think my role as a mentor has become more important to me than seeking mentors," said Velicelebi.

In the past six months, three people whom she had interviewed and turned down for jobs -- but suggested how they can become stronger professionals -- have come back to her and said her recommendations worked.

But, she said, mentorship is a dynamic exchange, and there is really no end to mentoring relationships. Today, her nieces and nephews continue to mentor her on current cultural customs.